How to get the best out of Valencia's Fallas festival, according to the experts

IF YOU'RE in the Comunidad Valenciana any time between now and the early hours of March 20, you may notice an awful lot of noise and colour on the streets. It's the season for the region's biggest festival, the Fallas – and it's anything but quiet.

Caricatures made from papier mâché on almost every street corner, literally the height of a block of flats, satirising current affairs, politicians and celebrities – along with a much smaller, cuter version for the children, usually showcasing fairytales and popular cartoons – are frequently surrounded by crowds in traditional regional dress who appear to live, eat, drink, and sleep in the giant marquée next to them.

These enormous monuments, known as fallas (with a lower-case 'f'; the festival itself is the Fallas, with a capital 'F') are usually erected on or just before March 16 and are burnt down ceremoniously on the night of March 19 – Saint Joseph's Day, and also Father's Day in Spain.

Whilst their destruction may seem a travesty after all the painstaking artwork involved in building them, the reasons are practical as well as traditional: There's nowhere to store them, year after year, if they are kept intact and, as they are necessarily topical in nature, the same ones cannot really be used more than once. Also, as the dedicated falla sculptors and their studios take up to 10 months of the year to create them, reducing their masterpieces to ashes keeps them permanently in a job.

What else you'll see during the Fallas 

Girls and women in huge bell-shaped damask, silk and lace dresses with crinolines and close-fitting bodices, and their hair fashioned into three rolled-up braids, are known as falleras, and each falla has its own 'queen', or fallera mayor. Entire towns have a 'head' fallera mayor, and the honour of being chosen is similar to that of becoming Carnival Queen in the Canary Islands, Venice or Brazil, or getting picked to represent your country in the Eurovision Song Contest.

Mascletaes, or gunpowder banger displays, go off in town centres at 14.00 every day, sometimes involving coloured smoke, but with the aim of making as much noise as possible – an aim that's rarely missed.

One full day is dedicated to the offering of flowers to the Virgin Mary, or the Ofrenda, where a giant wooden frame topped by Mary's head is set up and where falleras deposit bouquets, normally with special messages for the women in their lives. By the end of it all, the effect is a house-sized Mary made from flowers who graces Instagram sites all over Spain.

Whilst Valencia city is arguably the cradle of the Fallas and the place where the biggest, best, most 'accessible' – due to their more universal themes – and the most (over 700) fallas are found, you don't need to be in Spain's third-largest metropolis to enjoy the festival. Indeed, for those who hate crowds, your best bet is to head to a smaller town in the province of Valencia, in the south of the province of Castellón, or in the towns of Pego or Dénia in the north of that of Alicante. In these, you'll get to feast your eyes on fabulous costumes and statuesque statues, but without being constantly hemmed in by thousands of other humans.

Basically, although the Fallas should really be at least a once-in-a-lifetime experience for any traveller or Spanish resident – and is typically a once-a-year experience for anyone living close to the action – these full-on fiestas are not for everyone. Although more and more cultural events in Spain, such as fairgrounds, are starting to include 'silent days' and 'crowd-restricted days', this concept has not yet reached the Fallas; anyone on the autism spectrum or who suffers from sensory overload might find the festival too overwhelming. If this is you, and you still want to gain at least a taste of it, we recommend you make an 'escape plan' and identify somewhere calm and comfortable you can head to at a moment's notice.

For first-time Falla visitors in general, Spain's State news agency EFE has published a series of guidelines to ensure you get the best out of the fiesta – guidelines which, in fact, are helpful to anyone who finds themselves in the thick of it, even if they have done so every March for decades.

Choose your clothing carefully

Even if you want to look your best for photo opportunities, make sure what you wear is comfortable, especially your shoes, since you could be on your feet for some time. The western Mediterranean in March can be unpredictable in terms of temperature – bright and warm in the middle part of the day, and considerably colder after dark. If you're from a northern European country or one with a similar climate, you might want to wear fewer or lighter layers than you normally would at home in March, but definitely don't expect beach weather – that doesn't happen in eastern Spain until around June. More recent years have been much warmer in March, so you probably won't need a winter coat, but should at least wear a jacket or lightweight coat that you can take on and off easily.

Food and drink

Getting into the full Fallas spirit can mean a bit of an assault on your stomach if you're not used to the traditional seasonal onslaught of deep-fried snacks and paella. Buñuelos, or fried pumpkin doughnuts, churros dipped in chocolate, and other festival food can be filling and rich – but a refreshing and healthy treat comes in the shape of a glass of horchata, or sweet tigernut milk, which you can either find on street stalls or in cafés, or in litre cartons for less than €2 in supermarkets.

Eating well during the Fallas is great for keeping energy levels up, but make sure you bring plenty of water with you on those long walks around the streets.

Get plenty of rest

During the festival week, 'rest' is a word that doesn't even enter the vocabulary of the average fallera or fallero. They take part in parades, pageants, float processions, pilgrimages and parties that start around 06.00 – breakfast is normally taken in the marquée, or casal - and tend not to finish until the early hours of the next morning. If they catch three hours' sleep a night, that's usually considered a lie-in. 

As a visitor, you don't need to keep 'fiesta hours', but if it's your first time at the Fallas, you will probably want to join guided tours and planned activities designed to show those not involved what really happens behind the scenes. These could include late-night parties and early-morning parades and, even if they don't, you might find your sleep disturbed by music and fireworks at unsociable hours. 

In other words, if an opportunity for a siesta comes up, grab it.

It's going to be noisy.

Spain's former science minister, Pedro Duque, was a practising astronaut before he wound up in Parliament. He's been on two missions to the International Space Station, and spent nearly as much of his time in office answering questions about extra-terrestrial travel and living as he did about politics. And the first time he stood on the city hall balcony in Valencia to experience the midday mascletà, Sr Duque said the deafening racket surpassed even that of a space rocket taking off.

If even an astronaut thinks the mascletaes are loud, then it's fair to say Earth-based humans do, too. This means, then, that if you're on the autism spectrum or are otherwise sensitive to noise, give the mascletaes a swerve – you can watch them on local TV in your hotel, or get someone to film them for you.

Those who do want to be there when the explosions happen – including firework displays, such as Valencia's famous Nit de Foc ('Fire Night') – are normally advised not to cover their ears. Experts, particularly those with direct experience of the Fallas, say blocking your ears can cause uncomfortable pressure – instead, they recommend you open your mouth. Those who try it for the first time are usually surprised at how well this works in 'letting out' the noise.

Be patient and pace yourself.

If you're in Pego (which has three fallas) or Dénia (usually eight), or a similar large village (11,000 inhabitants in the case of the former) or medium-sized town (49,000 inhabitants), then you can legitimately decide to visit every single falla and take a selfie next to them, whilst also taking in the Ofrena, the daily mascletà and practically all the churro and buñuelo stalls en route. And have time left over to wind down in one of the numerous local restaurants before the burning-down, or cremà, late on March 19.

But if you head for Valencia or a very large town within its metropolitan area, you'll only see a fraction of the fallas and may not get a perfect view of the visual events. Parking in any town, village or city during the Fallas is nearly impossible, the population multiplies, bars and restaurants are typically full to bursting, and trains to and from Valencia are packed – often standing-room only. 

All this can be frustrating, so you need to manage your own expectations, prioritise, plan and, if you need accommodation or intend to eat out, book well in advance.

Download or pick up a map of the city and of the metro network and work out a rough route. Don't worry about being seen walking the streets whilst consulting a map – Valencia is very used to city-break tourists from all over the world, and even visitors who are fairly local need to check their locations if they don't head for the urban centre very often, so you won't look out of place or 'vulnerable'. Crime rates in Valencia are statistically very low – as long as you take the normal precautions you would in a busy built-up area you're not familiar with, your trip should be trouble-free.

Learn some key Fallas words

Visitors from overseas are often surprised to find that speaking Spanish doesn't help them much when exploring the falla monuments or checking the programme for upcoming events: The language of the festival is almost exclusively the region's co-official tongue, valenciano.

Of course, anyone whose native language is valenciano will also speak and understand Castillian Spanish – the national tongue – 100%, so you won't need to worry about general communication if this is the first time you've ever heard of valenciano, let alone tried to use it. In fact, Valencia city is predominantly Spanish-speaking; many smaller towns use valenciano practically all the time, even though they are perfectly capable of switching to Spanish if needed.

What this does mean, though, is that the key elements of the Fallas are in a language that even most Spanish people from other parts of the country probably don't understand, so it's helpful to swot up on the definitions ahead of your trip.

The 'grand awakening' of the day's festivities is universally known as the despertada, but at festivals in the Comunidad Valenciana is normally called the despertà; not too different. Mascletà is the gunpowder display, castell de foc – which, in Spanish, is castillo de fuego - translates as 'castle of fire', but means 'firework display'. 

Other terms are rather more Falla-centric and you won't find their Spanish equivalents, where these exist, used at all. For example, a ninot is one of the many statuettes or figurines that make up a falla monument, and before the fallera del foc (the 'fire fallera' sets light to the whole display, the fallera mayor gets to choose a ninot to save from the flames. This, which is usually then placed in a permanent exhibition along with past figurines, is known as a ninot indultat, or 'pardoned statuette'.

The burning is referred to as the cremà, and although in Spanish it would be called the quemada, you'll never hear this term used to describe it. 

Don't be surprised, either, if you see stalls selling buñuelos and horchata advertising their wares as bunyols and orxata. The latter is often served up with fartons, or lightly-iced bun fingers, designed to be dipped in the tigernut juice. 

Get your shopping done on March 18.

Shops, including supermarkets, in most of the Comunidad Valenciana, except those towns with a high level of international tourism and in summer, are nearly always closed on Sundays and public holidays. March 19 is a regional public holiday in the provinces of Castellón and Valencia, and also in some of the northernmost towns in the province of Alicante, meaning the final day of the Fallas is not a good time to run out of bread and milk. Anything you need to buy that can't wait until March 20, you need to stock up on by March 18 – or before, where March 18 or 20 fall on a Sunday.

Opening hours in Valencia city are typically much longer and more flexible than in smaller towns, where high-street shops may not even be open on Saturday afternoons, but don't rely on this: The Fallas are the biggest festival on the local calendar, and closures are more likely than not. 

If you get caught short and you're in the northern end of the province of Alicante, you may not have to travel far to find shops open – almost anywhere south of Dénia, including major holiday towns like Jávea, treat March 19 as a normal working day.

A good idea is to check your map for petrol stations. Most of these have small grocery stores for those emergency items and are open seven days a week. Many are open 24 hours a day, but some of the region's service stations close at 22.00 – make a note of this in advance if you're habitually a late-night shopper.